The Low Down in the Down Undies
We have come a long way from the origins of the simple woven loincloth. Our loads of uncomfortable, oversized and overheated underwear that our great-grandmothers had to endure apparently dissolved with “the vow.” By opting for more comfortable styles, we then “free” ourselves even more to express our femininity and sexuality and perhaps, as some say, sacrifice ourselves. comfort again for the evolution towards today’s thong. Our intimates were based on expression and comfort until the scientists arrived. Yes … invite some scientists to any mix and now we are talking about a completely new dresser. Here are five ways scientists plan to get into your underwear drawer.
1 … Surf and grass …
We really are living in a disposable world, seemingly down to the panties. However, on second thought, there are some very practical applications for disposable underwear. Aside from the convenience factor claimed by the manufacturer in relation to travel, they provide a sanitary and comforting option in disasters and emergencies. Do you remember your mother telling you to wear clean underwear in case you had an accident and had to go to the hospital? Well, throw that saying out the window, because now there’s no reason that hospitals can’t comfortably restore your dignity with these affordable, disposable alternatives.
Also, what survivor of a natural disaster deserves to wear inherited underwear because that was all that was available? After the aftermath of Katrina, this alternative may make the Red Cross think about these products! They were providing medical care, food, and comfort … yet fresh underwear was seemingly overlooked and was an invaluable commodity to everyone involved.
These alternatives cost around a dollar a piece, and you can buy them in a variety of styles: classic briefs, bikini bottoms, boxers, and hey, they come as ankle socks too! Considered natural, breathable and fresh: this eco-friendly biodegradable garment is made of light, soft and breathable cotton. And if your frugal side kicks in, they can even be washed a few times. They are not hard to find, there are some outlets in North America where you can buy them, just search for “disposable underwear” on the net.
2 … Save energy, wash them once a month …
Yes, you heard me correctly and once you get past the “disgust” factor, again, in hindsight, there are some very practical applications. I’m talking to any of you ladies who have ever had to open a gym bag for the first time in who knows how long. You’ll be grateful for this kind of fabric invention whose prototype, by the way, was tested on the space station and kept on the butt for 30 days with no complaints. After all, anti-gravity and dirty panties just don’t mix. I’m talking about a new antibacterial underwear called J-wear designed to keep odors at bay, as well as repel static and absorb water. A girl wonders what visits to ancient space stations really were like to need such a specialized invention. Manufactured by Toray Industries Inc, based around the world, and currently not on the market “in this world” yet, but you know it’s coming soon … maybe just in time for the 2010 Olympics, where the absorbent attributes of the fabric will be necessary!
3 … They are our friends …
We would very much doubt that our intimates are anything but our nemesis every time they “ride” on top of us and we find ourselves squirming uncomfortably in our chairs; however, nanotech lace-up underwear provides a claim as “girl-friendly” briefs capable of literally shedding body fat. Teijhn Fibers Ltd. has invented a polyester called Nanofront (TM) originally designed for polishing industrial tools. This same tissue also claims the amazing ability to shed unwanted body fat! What what?
The company claims that “the texture feels smooth to the skin and dramatically reduces irritation. It is suitable for a variety of applications, including functional sportswear, underwear, skin care products, antibacterial filter, sanding cloth. precision, etc. ” (Only a scientist would be comfortable bundling those attributes into a sales pitch without blinking.) Teijin further states that in test studies, people who have worn Nanofront (TM) underwear for 40 consecutive days have experienced a reduction in body fat by several percent and consequently a waist size reduced by several centimeters. .
Laughter aside, this fabric has some pretty amazing attributes. A single strand of this fiber is 7.5 thousand times smaller than a strand of hair, yet the unevenness of the fiber’s surface creates increased friction that allows very little slippage or movement. Your briefs will stay put! Nanofront is also 200,000 times more flexible than normal polyester fibers and has excellent cooling properties, as well as absorbing and diffusing perspiration quickly. We’re talking girl-friendly underwear now, pass me the nano-briefs please … but skip the bra, I need to hold on to what little I have, thank you!
4 … Saving yourself on nail polish …
Moving to underwear of a different type but no less frustrating; Our scientist friends may have the solution in the works to deal with those pesky nylons squirting.
Who hasn’t quietly pursed their lips when a fingernail ripped through a new pair of stockings they were putting on and they were forced to apply nail polish in hopes of stopping the race? We could only pray at the time that it wasn’t our last pair! Wishing there was a more durable nylon that was still light and comfortable. What does self-healing material sound like?
It’s not on the market yet, but it’s showing some surprisingly positive results in the University of Washington and Lee’s lab in Lexington, VA. It comes in the form of polyethylene-co-methacrylic acid (EMAA) copolymers. In simplest terms, it is a plastic and relatively inexpensive to produce, with this unique and exciting ability to heal itself. This plastic has the potential to revolutionize the way materials are designed for different applications and it is a quick thing to do, faster than you can get out of a bottle of nail polish. The scientists tried to capture the healing process using a high-speed camera, but the event occurs almost instantly. Aside from nylon stockings (which is low on the priority scale at the moment), there is interest in this fabric being incorporated into space technology, and also in bulletproof jackets.
5 … Averages on a different scale …
As if nano-fabric, self-healing polymers, and antibacterial yarns weren’t enough of a technological marvel to make a girl’s head spin, how about a fabric that emits infrared rays that reduce cellulite? I bet he raised his eyebrows! And this wonder is on the market right now, but it’s such a hot product you’d better keep your fingers crossed that it’s not out of stock right now. These intimates are called Scala Bio-Fir leggings (they also come in pants) and are currently sold by John Lewis, who reports that the anti-cellulite pants sold out within 30 minutes of being connected.
Bio-Fir stockings are said to have the ability to smooth orange peel skin. Its scientific explanation is as follows: the tissue contains crystals that emit infrared rays and once they come into contact with the skin these infrared rays induce an increase in metabolism in the skin cells by heating them. This creates an increase in blood flow to the skin which in turn causes the layers of fat that make up cellulite to melt into a fluid that the body can remove. Leggings are claimed to be most effective if worn for six hours a day for 30 continuous days.
Now that winter is coming, there are some women up north with big smiles on their faces right now. However, I am not sure how the southern ladies are going to carry this product. The suffering and endurance required in the name of beauty is endless, right?
In fact, science has come a long way with practical applications for textiles today. It is equally astonishing that in their quest for aerospace advancement and artillery protection, they have not forgotten the finer things in life too … us ladies and our intimates. Which shows that we fit quite high on the priority scale, and one could argue that as long as we make our voices heard, it is no longer a man’s world.