Can you have consistency?

The biggest mistake we make as parents when raising teenagers is CONSISTENCY. Sometimes it seems like it’s easier to let it go “this time”, or they say it won’t happen again. Our children need rules and limits; they thrive on it. This is a task that seems easier said than done; take it one day at a time. Pick and choose your battles, and the ones you choose to challenge, make sure you’re willing to meet the punishment. There have been a few times in my experience where I would get very angry and mindlessly blurt out some crazy punishment. Then later, when I really reflected on the situation, I would clearly see that the punishment I spouted didn’t fit the crime. Then, deciding what the punishment should really be, I would go to my teenage son and explain what happened and that I thought the punishment was unfair. At that moment he would explain what was to be. I think this showed my kids that I make mistakes too, but I also went to them and got it right. Building trust is very important, especially at your age. Our children want to feel that their side is important. Take the time to listen to what they have to say. It will help build a good working relationship between parents and children. Build your confidence. When we consistently follow a pattern, it will start to form and those long days with misbehaving teens become few and far between. We as parents are not expected to always get it right. It is also a learning process for us. And each child is clearly different. When you find a technique that works, stick with it!

There are so many wonderful resources out there these days. The National Parenting Helpline is an amazing support system 1-855-427-2736 or nationalparenthelpline.org, Parenting.org is also a great free Boys Town resource. Love Our Children USA, childhelpusa.org. There are so many great organizations that are solely dedicated to strengthening our families even in the most difficult of times. Just remember that you are not alone. There is help at your fingertips. It’s okay to ask for help. We teach our children that when they are in need, they are supposed to call on us. Well, it has to go both ways. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to. And finally the best advice I can offer is something I tell my children. They didn’t give me the job of being their friend. They gave me the best job of all, which is being their father. And I will strive every day to be a better one. Being his friend comes later in life. And that my love is unconditional!