Get over the stormy feelings
I know that looking back on my own life I can see many instances where I spoke or acted on impulse, due to the raging storms of emotion within me. Some very strong sensations are also caused by our hormones. If we are not able to control these hormonal impulses, they can lead us to make impulsive decisions about sexual matters. The consequences of these impulsive decisions can be very lasting in our lives. If we can manage our feelings and better control our thoughts and resulting actions; we will not have so many occasions to deeply repent later.
A great deal of suffering can be brought into our lives, and the lives of those who live close to us, because of the way we think, speak, and react to our feelings. This effect comes to our society like waves in a pond, bringing waves of additional suffering or waves of additional benefit to the lives of all those within our sphere of influence. We all interrelate with each other on some level. With the increased connections of the electronic age and all the connections of social networks, our impact has a much broader reach than was possible in the past.
Due to the fact that the way we relate to each other affects people on a much larger scale today, it reminds us to consider our responsibilities to each other. Although each of us is responsible for ourselves and our behavior, we must be aware of how the things we say and do can influence and affect the lives of those around us. If we keep reacting without thinking about our feelings; we will not be able to create the best possible life for ourselves.
We must also consider how this ripple that we start in the pool of our lives, by the way we react to our feelings and beliefs, also flows into the lives of our children and grandchildren. Additionally, the way we react to our feelings can negatively affect the lives of those with whom we interact on a daily basis. For these and many other reasons, it is very wise to learn to better manage our inner feelings, in order to have the best possible experiences in life.
Our feelings are combined with our beliefs about ourselves and others, along with the rules we abide by in our interactions with others. This powerful mix of feelings and beliefs will influence how we will act in all situations in which we find ourselves. Our personal combination of feelings and beliefs creates our thoughts. Our thoughts carve the reality that we perceive within our life experience. Our life experience flows from this stream of feelings, beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions as we create it.
I like how Thich Nhat Hanh describes our feelings in his book Peace is Every Step. He says: “In us, there is a river of feelings, in which each drop of water is a different feeling, and each feeling depends on all the others for its existence. To observe it, we simply sit on the river bank.” and identify each feeling as it rises, flows, and disappears.”
Thich Nhat Hanh also says that “conscious observation is based on the principle of ‘non-duality’: our feeling is not separate from us or caused by something external to us; our feeling is us, and for the moment we are that feeling. “.
It goes on to describe how there are three types of feelings, pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral. He says that we must concentrate on observing our feelings, with love and attention; while he uses conscious breathing and mindfulness. This will help us identify and recognize the feeling we are experiencing. If a feeling is unpleasant, we can embrace it mindfully, like a mother comforting a crying baby. Applying our energy to feelings in this way will help us transform unpleasant or stormy feelings into neutral or pleasant feelings as we practice.
1. The first step in transforming our feelings is to acknowledge each feeling as it arises.
(Example from Peace is Every Breath) “As I inhale, I know there is an unpleasant feeling in me.” “As I exhale, I know that there is an unpleasant feeling in me.” We want to keep our breathing calm and light so that our mind and body can begin to reach the same balance. As we identify the feeling using mindfulness, we can address it by name, such as “anger,” “sad,” or “fear.” Don’t seek to drive away the feeling, just acknowledge it. ) How are you today my friend?”
2. With the second step you will invite your feeling and mindfulness to shake hands and connect with each other.
Allow your mindfulness to receive and take care of the stormy unpleasant feeling you are experiencing. As the feelings connect with each other, mindfulness will calm the stormy feeling for you. It may seem scary at first, but with practice your mindfulness will gain strength and help you transform these stormy feelings.
3. The third step is to calm the sensation that you are experiencing.
“Breathing in, I calm the activities of my body and mind.” She again uses the visualization of a Mother holding and comforting a crying baby. As the baby feels the tenderness and love of the Mother (her energy of her aware of her), the feeling (baby) will calm down. “Breathing out, I calm my…” (fear, anger, sadness…)
We don’t need to bury, reject or chase away our feelings. What we have to do is embrace them consciously and lovingly. As you lovingly embrace the feeling, with your conscious energy; You will transform the stormy feeling, with your love and compassion, into a more beneficial and pleasant feeling. With this gentle approach we will be able to withstand the storms that pass through the branches of our being. Mindfulness will help us understand that all our feelings are an important part of us. When we acknowledge and accept our stormy feelings, they can be transformed into positive and beneficial energies. We can then move on to creating a happier, more positive and successful life experience for ourselves. This will also benefit all those whom we hold dear.
I highly recommend reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, Peace Is Every Step, for a more detailed and comprehensive explanation of this wonderful process.
In the Christian tradition, the feelings and thoughts we experience are considered in Philippians 4:6-8 as follows. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but present your requests to God in all prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, everything that is true, everything that is honorable, everything that is just, everything that is pure, everything that is lovely, everything that is admirable, if something is excellent or worthy of praise, in these things think…”
I think an attitude of gratitude and a heart full of thanksgiving along with lips that seek every opportunity to praise; it will lift our hearts from many moments of sadness or despair. Also, the mindfulness approach to transforming our feelings can be used within any religion.
Your life is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you give to life; not so much because of what happens to you as because of the way your mind looks at what happens. kahlil gibran
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/khalil_gibran
When dealing with your feelings, or those of another person, consider the words of Jalaluddin Rumi, the 13th century Persian poet. “Listen with ears of tolerance! See through the eyes of compassion! Speak in the language of love.”
In short, we all experience a wide range of feelings. Enjoy the nice ones; transform unpleasant stormy feelings by consciously embracing them. Acknowledge all feelings, as they are a valid expression of who you are and what is meaningful to you. Love yourself and accept yourself feelings and everything! Try to better understand why you feel the way you do, and by doing so, you will come to better understand yourself and the others who are important to you in your life.