How a straight man can have sex more often
When talking about sex, adults often don’t take into account the very different experiences we have. We can also have very different responses to the same experience due to our different personalities. Nor is it recognized that the frequencies with which a woman is expected to be willing to have sex are related to her partner’s sexual drive rather than her own.
Some men like to engage in foreplay. This masculine behavior focuses on prolonging male arousal. Educated men seek a deeper emotional connection with a lover in their sex life. A man who wants a committed partner puts more pressure on a woman because he expects a response of some kind or a performance. This makes sex more onerous for a woman, so she is less willing to spend more time having sex.
One of the main justifications men have for insisting on regular sex with their wives is their greater purchasing power. Many women with children feel obligated to keep a man happy while he pays the bills. This is why men don’t encourage women in the workplace. The greater economic independence of women is not in the interests of men. This is evidence that men know they are asking for something that women don’t always want to give.
Nature never intended for men to be monogamous. In all societies, men’s greater penchant for promiscuity is accepted as a natural and defining characteristic of male sexuality. If a woman provides a man with sex because she knows that if she doesn’t, he will look for another woman. So women’s need for male support has contributed to the high sex drive many men have today. Men are attracted to women regardless of anyone’s marital status. Most men try to be faithful because they appreciate that sexual loyalty is important to women’s emotional need to feel loved and appreciated.
It would be nice for women to have sex for love, but it doesn’t always work that way. Sex becomes a task that women feel compelled to perform in order to keep the family together. Many women today wait for their children to grow up before divorcing. Men need to understand the enormous investment that sex represents for a woman at the cost of her own emotional happiness.
If a man doesn’t get the sex he wants, then the balance of power has to change. A man needs to step back for a while (for a month or two) and give his partner time to lose his interest in her. He has to stop pestering for sex. He should wait until she wants him to notice her. A couple should forbid sexual intercourse and focus on other forms of mutual pleasure. Intercourse is good for two things: making babies and facilitating the male orgasm. Coitus should be used towards the end of lovemaking.
Sex happens much more easily in the early stages of a relationship because being affectionate with each other provides the most natural introduction to sex. First, a woman offers an affectionate interaction by touching or kissing her lover. Her lover communicates her desire by kissing her back passionately, touching the woman with greater emphasis on the erogenous zones and indicating her own arousal by pressing her groin against her body.
A man thinks of sex as a conquest because most women don’t find it easy to get into bed. Once a man has been accepted by a woman, he trusts her to be more compliant than other women. Otherwise, he would just go elsewhere. A man instinctively knows that when a woman is emotionally attached to him, she is more likely to be willing to have sex than an unknown woman.
A woman offers sex to a man to be loved. She withholds sex when she is angry with him partly to punish him, but also because sex is abhorrent to a woman when she is angry with a lover. Men never behave like this because, for them, sex is a commodity or a biological necessity to relieve sexual tension. On a certain level, sex can be purely functional for men, like doing their business. For women, sex depends much more on emotional factors.
To be fair, women are also guilty because they don’t feel safe or comfortable telling their partner, “Hey, sex has to be about what I want. And tonight is going to be a night where it’s all about from me, which means a full body massage and no intercourse. Next time we’ll just focus on your fun.” (Trina Read 2014)