How love can survive prison walls
Believe it or not, love can survive, even if your husband, boyfriend, or lover is in jail. My husband and I are excellent examples, and our love has not only survived, it has grown stronger with each passing day … with each beat of our heart. I like the saying, “we are 2 hearts that beat as one”.
My husband has been in the prison system for the past 23 months. We have been married for 4 years, of which 23 months separate us from the prison walls. But we have proven that “love prevails”, and not even prison walls can separate us!
“How do you both do it?” You can ask. It’s easy and in this article I hope to give you some basic tips.
First of all, it helps to be madly “in love” with each other! So the rest becomes easy!
1. Stay in close contact by phone. As most prison wives know, prison visits are very expensive. If you can, take those collect calls. If you are unable to do so, stay in close contact through the mail. I send letters to my husband, computer printouts of articles and information that interest him, newspaper clippings. I keep manilla envelopes at home and all week I slip things of interest into the envelope … Then I make at least one, if not more, trips to the post office to send him letters and envelopes. At my post office I am a familiar face for the past 23 months!
2. Send her lots of cards for the holidays and other occasions. It helps me not only to think of him as I search for “that perfect card,” but he enjoys receiving them and often shows them to fellow inmates. Remember that “mail time” is a very important time of day when you are in prison. Some guys don’t even get mail … it’s almost a game or competition with the guys as to the amount of mail they get … Prisoners I always joked with my husband that his wife was going to make the mail room ‘close’ since I was sending him so much mail.
….. Valentine’s Day is a few days away … I have sent several cards to my husband, and he has sent me 7 cards! …. if there are times when he cannot buy cards, he makes his own, which are very special to me.
3. Photos … I keep photos of my husband throughout the house … in the bedroom, living room and kitchen … At first I would go to the refrigerator and hug him, where his photo was … I would talk with his photo. I also carry a photo of the two of them, with our dog, on my keychain. When he first went to prison, I mailed him at least about 100 pictures of us. He was able to put them in photo albums and would gladly show his photo to the other boys. And yes, my husband slept with those photo albums under his pillow, he missed me so much.
4. Share your thoughts, feelings, and emotions over the phone. Tell him if you feel lonely … or even angry … it’s okay to be honest. After all, your husband is in jail and you can feel what he feels … but most of all, tell him that you “love” him. … a little “love talk” will help you get through those lonely days and nights.
5. Daydream about your husband. Think about those days spent with him and think about what the future will be like when you get home. Yes, daydream, and dream at night … and imagine that he is still there by your side at night … Think of each other, as much as you can!
6. Keep the house together while he’s gone. Also, do something for yourself, to become a better person … for example, take a college course or go to an adult school … participate in church activities … join the choir! .. do volunteer work, in the hospital or in a nursing home … try to put some sunshine in the lives of others … try not to focus on the difficulties you are going through right now …
7. Look to the future and know that you are succeeding, even one step at a time. Be strong and positive that your love will survive …… For us, it’s easy, because, “we love each other so much … and that’s just that … prison or not”!
I hope this article made your day a little more positive and helped you get through another day … Happy Valentine’s Day! ……… and don’t forget to tell your husband, lover, boyfriend, or whoever is in your life, “I love you” … Those are 3 very important words!