Is it your New Year’s resolution to get a divorce?
It’s Christmas Eve and you’re surrounded by your family as you admire the decorations on the tree and enjoy a hot drink by the fireplace. He’s left all the crowds at the mall behind and, wrapped in brightly colored packages, he has the perfect gifts for everyone on his list. The children went to sleep without a fight, knowing that tomorrow would bring the discovery of what Santa had left behind during his annual visit. This is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. Why, then, do you cast sidelong glances at the person you exchanged wedding rings with years ago? What is it about this season that makes you realize how unhappy you are in your marriage? And what will prompt you to join thousands of others in just a few weeks to do your part and make January the busiest month of the year for divorce attorneys? There are several reasons for this very real winter of marital discontent.
The arrival of the New Year always brings with it a period of self-reflection. People make promises to themselves that range from the ever-popular determination to lose weight to other resolutions like quitting smoking or smiling more. Some feel that the fresh start that accompanies the countdown to midnight and the singing of “Auld Lang Syne” should include starting the year without a husband or wife. As New York attorney Sue Moss puts it: “It seems everyone’s New Year’s resolution is to lose weight and lose a husband, and not in that order.” Those who have struggled in what they believe to be bad marriages, sometimes for years, make the decision that they will not start another year in the same environment.
On a more practical note, there are also financial issues that need to be considered when determining the timing of the divorce. There are tax advantages to be derived from maintaining the marriage until the end of the tax year. Where the old saying was, “We stayed together for the kids,” many couples now say, “We stayed together for the tax breaks.” In addition, there is usually a great deal of financial information that must be exchanged when an estranged couple makes decisions about property division, child support, and other money-related matters. Labor and tax information for the previous year will begin to be available at the end of January. In relationships heading toward divorce, it’s not surprising to find that one or both parties have not been entirely forthcoming about finances. The New Year brings evidence of investment earnings, bonuses, and dividends that may have been conveniently hidden until now.
Finally, do not underestimate the influence of the holidays on a person’s mood. Spending time with extended family can remind someone of what their own marriage is missing or create additional stress on an already fragile marriage relationship. If you come from a house that Norman Rockwell might have used as a model for one of his paintings, you may wonder why his current home life isn’t up to scratch. If visits to mom and dad usually end with fists or calling the police, then such tension will exacerbate personal problems. And then there’s the matter of the infamous office Christmas party. Infidelity is the number one reason for divorce at any time of the year, but the alcohol that often accompanies the holiday season can increase the possibility of inappropriate behavior.
In the state of Texas, there are approximately 100,000 divorces each year, and half of these separations involve children under the age of eighteen. Naturally, the people of our state are no more or less immune to the effect that the holidays can have on the marriage relationship than any other state in the union. So divorce attorneys in Austin, Dallas, Houston and elsewhere in the Lone Star State should expect their phones to be busier and their waiting rooms more crowded come 2010. Once they show up initial divorce papers with the appropriate court, Texas law requires a sixty-day waiting period and this time period is only possible if both parties agree to all of the terms. If there are discord issues, divorcing couples can expect the process to take a year or even longer. Therefore, it is possible that even though you start divorce proceedings in January with the intention of starting anew with the New Year, you may still be involved in disputes with your spouse when the next holiday season approaches.
If you are a resident of Texas and realize that the holidays are bringing to light serious marital discord and you need to start 2010 by taking the first steps in the divorce process, plan to contact an experienced attorney as soon as possible. Emotions often run high when a spouse files for divorce, and these feelings are intensified by the high expectations and conflicts that come with the holidays. A good attorney can guide you through the difficult decisions that need to be made sensitively and with the mindset of an advocate. Don’t start a life-changing year without the best advice possible, and you’ll find yourself wishing you had done things differently as 2011 approaches.