Raising an Independent Teen
I remember posting on a message board about opening a checking account for my 16-year-old son. She and I had chosen a date, we went to the bank, brought all the paperwork, and opened her account. She and I were excited.
I was really surprised by how many moms thought I was crazy. Each had different reasons to think he was crazy. They did not feel that their own children could take responsibility for having a checking account, or they did not feel that their own children would understand that having more checks did not mean they had money, or they did not believe that a 16-year-old should have their money. own checking account. Many women said they did not believe that their son’s part-time babysitting job gave the child enough money to justify opening an account.
In just two years, all of these children will turn 18. Many will be leaving home. If they have not been taught to manage money, have not been taught to balance a checkbook, and have not been taught to use a checkbook register while at home, how will they know when they are leaving home?
Having worked in a college bookstore, I can share numerous stories of 18-20 year olds who had no idea how to write a check, how to register a check, or how to balance a checkbook. Some students weren’t even sure where to sign their checks. Others, when asked to print their local address on the check, put it at the bottom below the routing numbers. They did not realize that this was not right.
If, as a parent, you really believe your 16-year-old is unprepared for the responsibility of a checkbook, consider an Excel spreadsheet. When my daughter was about 13 years old, we created two spreadsheets. One was for clothing and one was for school lunches. We looked at how much money I spent in a whole year on his clothes. This was his initial balance. Every time we bought shoes, pants, earrings, etc., I had to register the purchase. Excel does the math, so you could see your total balance decrease as you shop. He could also look at his total left and choose which was more important, the very expensive pair of shoes or some new sweatshirts for winter. He knew that when the money ran out, there was no more. If your choice was shoes and you didn’t have warm clothes, you would have to wear the last few years or wear my own. What teenager wants to wear mom’s clothes?
His lunch allowance was a running total. You started each week with $ 5. If you didn’t spend it in week one, then at the beginning of week two you had $ 10. Again, Excel did the math, but you needed to add the $ 5 each Monday and then deduct what you spent. every day. If you didn’t record the purchases, they didn’t give you $ 5 the following Monday.
These worksheets taught you how to add money and subtract money while recording where the money went.
The other area where I think we can help our children to be independent is shopping for food and cooking. A 16-year-old is old enough to cook one meal a week. If your schedule doesn’t allow for one meal a week, try one meal a month. If you don’t help your child learn to choose ingredients, read a recipe, and cook a meal, how will you know how to do this when she no longer lives with you? My oldest daughter has a friend who is getting married next week. Right now, this girl eats McDonalds twice a day. She does not cook. This is not only expensive, but it is very unhealthy. We make amazing burgers at home. We load BBQ sauce and onion rings, or teriyaki sauce with pineapple rings, or many other toppings. So, we eat hamburgers, but we make them ourselves. My two sons can make great burgers.
My two sons have always gone to the market with me. They know how to read labels, check ingredients in products, and choose fresh fruits and vegetables. Again, if they don’t do this with you, how will they know how to do it when they leave your house? My kids also know how to shop for store sales. They know how to read store labels and determine how much they are paying per unit or per ounce so they can compare sizes and brands.
These are just two areas where we can help our teens feel more independent and prepare them for adulthood.