The Icelandic Telephone Directory: A Study in Naming Conventions and Emergencies
People from, you know, other countriescountries where they make their own surnames and call each other Mr. and Mrs. and things like that, they are usually quite horrified when they see the Icelandic phone book.
The Icelandic phone book lists everyone by first name. Next comes your last name, then your address, then your occupation. [to set you apart you from all the other Jón Jónssons, what else?] and lastly your phone number[s].
Everyone is listed by their first name in the phone book because here in Iceland we call everyone by their first name. We don’t do Mr. or Mrs. even when we’re kids. Your teacher is Gunna. Your friend’s father is Jon. His president is Oli. Its Prime Minister is Geir. Your cute local pop star is Björk. Etc.
In addition to the jovial given name, we operate on a patronymic system, which means you take your father’s given name and simply add the suffix -son [if you’re a boy] o -dóttir [if you’re a girl]. Björk Gudmundsdóttir is the daughter of Gudmundur. Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson is the son of Grímur. Etc.
That being said, we do have a few last names floating around, which have infiltrated the culture over the centuries, for various reasons. Names like Laxness, Gudjohnsen, Pedersen, Clausen, Mathiesen… come to think of it, a lot of -sens. Thanks to our Danish colonial masters, no doubt.
Our phone book also contains a lot of useful information. In addition to regular things like emergency phone numbers and such, we also have useful information on things like the world’s highest mountains and waterfalls. [in case you want to plan your next vacation around that]the longest rivers in iceland [for river rafting possibilities, perhaps]the solar system [YOU ARE HERE] and all the national flags of the world [good to know in case you accidentally wind up in, say, Iraq]. Not to mention EXTREMELY helpful information on what to do in case of natural disasters: volcanic eruptions [put a helmet on]hurricanes [make sure your roofing material is secure]flood [clear your outdoor drains]mudslides [stay in the side of the house that is furthest from the mountain]snow avalanches [ditto] and earthquakes [dive under the nearest table].
Seriously, you could spend hours reading the Icelandic phone book. It is eminently entertaining and totally rocking.