With BIG BROTHER 7: ALL-STARS ending
With BIG BROTHER 7: ALL-STARS wrapping up, there has been a lot of speculation about a possible eighth season. Will there be one? Nobody is sure yet; CBS has yet to give it the go-ahead. No one will argue with the fact that BIG BROTHER has its problems. The ratings have steadily dropped and the quality of the show itself is not up to par with past seasons. What should CBS do to remedy BIG BROTHER? I have some ideas
1. Stream two episodes a week instead of three
This may anger some Big Brother purists, but sorry, it has to happen. Every episode is filled with excruciating filler that is totally unnecessary. We never, ever need to be taken out of the house for a segment of someone’s home life. I don’t want that, and I think most viewers agree. Humanizing the contestants dilutes their inner personality. The point of Big Brother is that the action exists in a vacuum. I don’t want my perception of a character I love/hate to be skewed by superfluous knowledge of the real world.
Two episodes a week would also allow more casual viewers to watch Big Brother. Three episodes a week is a big commitment, especially for a show that you really need to watch in its entirety to fully enjoy. Two episodes a week would create higher ratings and a larger fan base, as well as make Big Brother a more enjoyable show in every way. There are no losers there.
2. Note to casting directors: no more stupid people
Reality TV success usually begins and ends with the cast. People and human interaction is what draws viewers in in the first place, and this is especially the case with BIG BROTHER. With live broadcasts and three televised episodes per week, BIG BROTHER thrives on the quality of its cast. However, CBS has done a pretty terrible job of casting HouseGuests of late.
The ALL-STARS this season have been dominated mainly by three people: Will, Janelle and Danielle. And guess what? Those were probably the three smartest people in the house to begin with. You see, BIG BROTHER is a better game when played by smart people vs. other smart people. Morally corrupt smart people. The funniest parts of the contest are the scheming, the lies, the acting out, and the backstabbing. How hard would it be for CBS to cast only people who are at least halfway smart? They can still look cool, they can still be quirky and weird and loud, but at least make them capable of playing the game to the fullest.
3. Challenge Yard
BIG BROTHER challenges are silly. Is it so. You can’t argue with this. However, I think CBS does the best it can with the constraints it’s given: lack of backyard space and lack of time to set up shop. I came up with a simple, albeit expensive solution: a challenge yard.
Keep the house and backyard as is, but build a huge patio on an adjoining lot to be used for challenges only. HouseGuests would only be allowed in (via a door or possibly an underground tunnel) when it’s time for the next challenge. Think about it: CBS would have all the time it needs to put on elaborate, tough competitions and HouseGuests wouldn’t be sour all the time during shutdowns. What is the possible drawback? Sure, it might cost a little more money, but the challenges you have now seem to have been conceptualized by fourth graders.
4. If you have a big twist planned, make sure it actually happens
This is mostly aimed at ALL-STARS and the whole Coup debacle. Don’t overdo your big turn in a multitude of episodes and then make it completely inconsequential. What is the point? The Coup was a bad idea in the first place because they couldn’t guarantee it would be used and, frankly, it’s unfair power anyway. So CBS, here’s what I’m telling you: If you have a big twist planned, don’t wait that long, don’t be mysterious about it, and just drop it on HouseGuests unexpectedly. If you hint, fans and HouseGuests alike will start to speculate and have fanciful ideas, and then when it is finally revealed, it will inevitably be a disappointment.
Don’t have a big twist at all though. I really do not care.
5. Fire Julie Chen immediately
The Chenbot has always drawn the ire of fans for its lack of hosting abilities. She constantly changes her lines, speaks robotically, and is a very bad interviewer. Other than that, I guess she’s fine. Here’s the thing: even though she’s gotten better and rarely messes up, she still brings nothing to the table. ABSOLUTELY. A host is supposed to be added to the procedures. Look at Jeff Probst. He has an easy-going camaraderie with the SURVIVOR castaways, asks pointed and engaging questions, and has an air of contagious confidence that’s hard to deny. Chen is just a wet blanket struggling to read his own cue cards. Get rid of her.
6. Increase the prize money to $1 million
A show called “Treasure Hunters,” which debuted this summer on NBC, awarded $3 million to the winning team. SURVIVOR still gives its winner the million dollars. Why can’t CBS raise the $500,000 winning share for BIG BROTHER? There is still a significant portion of the audience that views BIG BROTHER as a two-bit reality show and one of the reasons is that it is (relatively) paltry prize money compared to other reality shows. For CBS, an extra 500 Gs is small change. They’re just being cheap. The increase in earnings will not only bring in new viewers, but will add more internal drama. The focus on winning would be doubled and players would not give up so easily.
As it is now, BIG BROTHER contestants already make a ridiculous and lengthy sacrifice to appear on the show, you better reward them with fair wages.
If CBS picks up BIG BROTHER for an eighth season, there need to be some fundamental changes. Even if it’s not one of these, it has to be something. Let’s hope they fix it.
-Oscar Dahl/Buddy TV