Student loan debt and why it sucks
When I was a senior in high school, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. He wanted to go to a big school party about 45 minutes from home. That was my dream. I wanted to be in his music band. I couldn’t wait to party in dorms, meet older guys and do whatever I wanted without my parents finding out. I stayed up late, got good grades, and hopefully someday figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Then reality kicked in.
My mom wouldn’t let me go because she wanted me to live at home. In all honesty, she was probably right. I wasn’t ready for college yet. I didn’t know that staying home was the worst decision of my life.
I ended up going to a 4-year institution about 10 minutes from my parents’ house. I lived at home, attended college full time, and worked part time. It seemed like I was handling myself well. My grades weren’t the best, but I didn’t try very hard either. I was more interested in this guy I was talking to, and making sure other girls didn’t hit on him, than I was in studying and getting good grades. I started with a specialization in pre-business. It’s not the Information Technology degree he wanted, but it was the closest thing they had besides programming, which he knew he would hate. By the middle of the semester, I had some good grades with the exception of 1 F’s. However, I became convinced that I wasn’t doing a good enough job, so I met with the registrar and dropped out. To this day, I don’t understand why that man didn’t push me to stay in class. To this day, I don’t know why I was able to so easily drop out of school and walk away with a full semester of debt and barely used books. Why did the registrar sign so easily? At that time, he had his mind set on retiring. However, if I had been pushed a little harder to stay in class, he would have. And he would have done A and B, except for my 1 F.
My parents were furious with me when they found out I dropped out a few days later. I was embarrassed to tell him, because I knew it wasn’t the right choice, but it was too late to change my mind. After a few weeks of being upset and my parents not being happy with me, my dad and I decided that I would attend the local community college. At the time, this school was basically “grade 13”. You only went there if you weren’t accepted into a 4 year school or wanted a quick degree so you could get a job as soon as you could. My mom was totally against this idea, she wanted me to go to a 4 year school, not a boring community college. Although I made a huge mistake dropping out of my first school, attending community college changed me for the better. My parents had lost their store the year before and were barely surviving. I used this to my advantage and received a lot of free federal financial aid, aid that I wouldn’t have to pay back. However, because a real person did not properly explain the loans to me, I accepted as much as I could. I received a huge refund check in the middle of the semester. I didn’t need the loan money, but it was great to have all this extra money to spend. I wasn’t worried about paying that money back. I knew I would have to return it, one day. Throughout my three years at community college, I continued to receive as much financial aid as I could and continued to spend those rebate checks like a kid in a candy store. I graduated with an associate degree in network administration, a degree I am very proud of to this day. Along with that title, he had been on the Deans List multiple times and was a member of Phi Theta Kappa, an honor society. Plus, I had several thousand dollars in student loans that I never needed to have.
At this point, you should have stopped attending college and found a job. It was still acceptable to have only an associate’s degree. Most companies would hire you with that. But my parents pushed me to get my bachelor’s degree. It sounded great and all, especially since my mom never went to college and my dad only had an associate’s degree in something electrical. I attended a private Catholic university as an online student. I had impressive grades. I continued to take out the maximum amount of financial aid I could have, and this time I used it to pay off the credit card debt I had racked up due to my ex-boyfriend spending all my money at the time. I graduated from 4 year college with a Bachelor of Business Administration. I never thought I would go so far as to get a bachelor’s degree and I was extremely proud of myself, just like my parents were of me. At the time, he owed about $50,000 in student loans. This included loans in my name as well as parent loans in my father’s name. The shock of the label was finally getting to me. I had student loan debt, and lots of it. I had credit card debt, an overvalued car loan, and dreams of buying my own house and moving. I started to hit rock bottom. I felt miserable all the time because of the debt that had increased. I dug myself a hole so big I knew I’d never get out.
I had just gotten a job at the community college in the Financial Aid Office. I was realizing how important it was to counsel students about student loan debt, so they didn’t have the same money problems that I did. To this day, I work with students and explain my horrible story. His parents just look at me in disbelief. The students listen to me, sometimes. Some students just don’t care about loans. They’ll have to return it, someday.
Even though I regret going to college and getting my bachelor’s degree every day, I don’t know if I would be where I am today without him. Even though my job only requires an associate’s degree, there are very few employees at my level who don’t have a bachelor’s degree. Do I make enough money to pay all my house bills and student loan bills? No. Am I miserable every day of the week? Absolutely.
If I could do it all over again, I would change a lot of things. He would have only used grants, not loans. If I still had a balance due, I would have made a payment plan instead of taking the full amount of my loans. If I had to get my bachelor’s degree, I would have worked part time so I wouldn’t have to take out loans.
What I’ve learned from all of this is that students need better education about student loans and the repercussions of taking out maximum amounts when you don’t have to. My loans have affected my happiness, my ability to be self-sufficient, my ability to pay half our mortgage and half our house bills. I can’t have a nice car, I can’t go shopping for clothes when I’ve lost 50 pounds and everything I own is too big, and most importantly, I can’t truly enjoy my life.
My lesson to everyone else: please, please, use my advantage. Use cash as much as possible and take advantage of free federal financial aid. Trust me, a very poor 25 year old married woman who can’t afford to have the life she wants or feels she deserves.